Now that your frame about who you are relative to your seniors is set (in a balanced way), a few words on building relationships. For starters, realize that building relationships is a process. Realize that the process doesn’t occur overnight. Realize that it plays to your hand to play it slow, particularly in the beginning, but also throughout. Patience will be your ally in this process.
Realize that the process is dynamic. Realize that you alone cannot “choose” someone with whom to build a relationship and expect this manual (or any manual) to allow you to control universal events in such a way that your choice of person suddenly develops an affinity for you. It just doesn’t work that way. Factors outside your control are always at play—factors like other people within the organization, both junior and senior. After all, doesn’t any one-on-one relationship also exist inside a matrix of other relationships?
Realize that to maximize your chances of success, you’ll need to surrender yourself to events outside your control and adapt to the playing field of already existing relationships—both chosen and existent by virtue of who is paired with whom on projects. Realize that once you understand how to adapt, you can start playing these dynamics to your favor (for example, leveraging the strength of your boss’s relationship with (an)other colleague(s) to build your own relationship with your boss). Patience in the opening moves of the game is important in part because it allows you to observe the playing field. Observation leads to information leads to informed action.
Now that the introductory words have been spoken, we will cover concrete instructions in order to maximize your chances of success in what follows.
Structurally, we’ll start with how to meet people, and go through some tips on how to behave on your first day to lay a solid groundwork from the get-go. Then I’ll draw a picture of what a firm is (a matrix) and we’ll look at how to become part of the matrix in an organic (read: natural) fashion. In what follows, we’ll look at the dynamic of the opening few weeks and months, during which first impressions are made of you as an employee and person. Finally, we’ll close with how to handle success when it comes.